The theme of ‘contentment’ has been swirling around me a lot lately.
Popping up in videos I watch.
Books I’m reading.
Quotes I’ve been sent.
and in my own mental meandering.
It’s a topic I want to dive deeper into in my next series/book here, but today this simple question popped into my head:
What makes me happy?
I’m reading this awesome rom com called:
In the story Alison keeps trying to be someone she’s not. She loves model trains and being a homebody but she feels like she “needs to” be Cheryl Strayed in Wild because she “cheated death.”
She feels like she needs to live her life to the fullest in this very specific way- otherwise it “doesn’t count.”…. lots of air quotes here🤣
Alison eventually tries to be that person to the point that she explodes because its so not her- saying:
“Why am I forcing these grand adventures like I googled “how to Eat, Pray, Love your way through Minnesota” when my best days are filled with contentment? Forcing myself to be someone else… isn’t it.”
And when she reveals her internal struggles to her mom she responds- “Life is all random.”
That’s when Alison thinks:
“‘Living life to the fullest’ was objective and identifiable- but it doesn’t fit so neatly beneath my ribs anymore.”
It’s a whole part of the plot but what struck me (besides the actual conversation around contentment- the phrase that’s been on repeat in my head) was the driving point that: It’s ok to be you.
to like what you like
to not like things others like
Life is subjective- so our decision making compass has to be:
What feels good to you? What makes you happy?
(in addition to kindness and ethics of course.)
I’ve noticed I host a lot of internal dialogues in my head
And in reading Alison’s story and learning more about contentment I noticed that these stories have been sneakily contorting me into shoulds.
I’m working on letting things just be without creating stories around them. i.e.
The kids are learning on their pads right now
Instead of stressing myself out with a story about dopamine and screen time etc. etc.
What if it can just be that? “The kids are learning on their pads right now.” period
end ofno story.
Or I want to create XYZ
Instead of spiraling because one time I created that and it “fell flat” or it’s not what’s been working so the strategic creation is better instead. (Like there’s a right or a wrong.)
What if it could just be that? “I want to create XYZ.”
And that’s when I thought to myself: What makes me happy?
Answering this question helped me release the sneaking “shoulds” narrative.
Saying each simple thing that makes me happy and letting that be ok.
No narrative.
No shame.
No shoulds.
It feels freeing. That’s why I wanted to share it with you- maybe this starter conversation on contentment shifts your perspective like this book has for me.
