Two years ago I decided to open a podcast studio in our town. I was ready for a creative space of my own- something I could touch after 3 years creating online.
I was SO excited to:
infuse my previous styling career in the interior design of this place.
To curate the perfect, vibey space other women could use and gather in.
To share my years of podcasting experience with others who wanted one too.
And to research, research, research (one of my favorite things to do) from the best equipment to the most comfortable furniture.
Honestly…. I thought: “THIS is it. All the ‘random’ breadcrumbs are coming together and it’s finally going to create that ‘success’ I’ve been reaching for all these years.”
Fast forward to today ⏩ I was swimming laps at the pool and 🎶Cruel Summer came on
It reminded me of this time. Right when the studio opened and Good Morning America came to our town:
I thought: “Everything’s falling into place!! They’re coming right when our sign’s being put up at the studio. I’ll make this reel, show up, connect with the GMA crew and we’ll finally get that exposure you ‘need’ to be found… to succeed!”
I can feel the desperate energy that was coursing through my veins then as I write this now. I can picture myself like a frantic lunatic thinking “this is it!!”
Although I knew in my body that didn’t feel right. But “that’s what we’re told will get us to point B- right?”
As the lyrics of the song played over the pool speakers and brought back all of these memories- I chuckled to myself and thought….
I’m done waiting for my “big break”
I’ve spent my entire life thinking this way.
Working towards this big amorphous “success” goal to ‘prove’ my work, worth and achievement.
That “See! My time and all of these sacrifices thus far weren’t for nothing. I’m not crazy. This did all abundantly pay off.”
I’ve always been so focused on the end achievement that I’m now realizing… I’ve never really cultivated a practice
An act I want to flow with everyday. Something I love and enjoy, regardless of the end result. Something for myself that also benefits others…. until Substack✨
I’ve been learning this from the creative world and some amazing women in this space like
and .And I still feel like I have a lot of work to do….
I feel like our society encourages us to think:
We’re not doing it quite right.
Or there’s something we’re missing.
Or that if we get the next thing then we’ll finally reach the goals we want to reach.
But my focus now (as cheesy as it seems) is on the process, the journey, tuning into myself, finding my ‘art’ and integrating it into my every day life.
And in that process, redefining what success looks like for me.
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Here are a few small tweaks I’m making to find my practice and weave my business + creative expression throughout my day:
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