For the full experience: watch Episode #1 of Recording on the Road here ↓
Are we giving ourselves the thing we crave most?
I’ve desperately needed rest lately.
So I texted my mom to watch the kids, took to Airbnb, found a gorgeous rental and hit the road to recharge.
But once we got here… I started to struggle with what “counted” as rest.
By definition, rest is: an instance of relaxing or ceasing to engage in strenuous, stressful activity.
By society, rest is defined as: a break from work, time to put your feet up and do nothing, an escape from reality.
Despite being exhausted from broken sleepless nights, while raising and unschooling two cuties and stepping into my new role as a creative…
(…. and despite chugging too much coffee when my body is yelling at me to just go to bed early.😬)
I found myself in conflict during our trip when it came to rest.
I noticed I was going against my impulse of how I wanted to spend this short time.
There were definitely times where I happily chose the societal definition of rest:
Like when I decided to read my book under the cozy comforter until 10 a.m.
Or I took a relaxing tub at 5 p.m. because I could.
Or we would go on a hike.
Or wander in and out of stores in town.
… but then, I'd feel an impulse to work, and I'd question it.
Why do I want to work right now?
Is it because I don't feel productive?
Like I need to crank something out so I can feel accomplished in this time?
The problem is…
I know I can burn myself out from pushing through work in the past… but now my work feels like fuel.
It's fun, and it can feel restful.
So it's a bit confusing based on how we're taught to look at rest.
I was stuck questioning:
What happens when your work becomes your art?
Becomes an extension of you?
An activity you look forward to?
When most of your daily life is without strain?
I'm sure I have slow living to credit for this, for allowing me to intentionally look at my life and clear out that excess and fall in love with what's in front of me.
And the more I leaned into it, the more I realized how my relationship with work and my day to day has really changed.
Because I've started listening to myself, and to my impulses, and to my intuition.
I mean, it's the whole reason we're on this trip.
Because I heard my body say, you need help with the kids. You need time with Collin. It's time to go off mom duty for a minute so you can recharge yourself.
It's in listening to the impulses that rest is coming about for me.
Not exclusively in the traditional self care activities either.
I was listening to an audio recording that my unschooling mentor, Sue Patterson, shared in our group, and she said something that really hit me hard.
She said:
Self-care means building a life you don't need to escape from.
It really helped me redefine rest, self-care, and the type of fuel I need to feel my best.
It made me ask myself, if this is the case, then what feels good to me?
And so I went on to look at Pinterest to curate how I want my life to feel.
I want a space that feels good to me. And I want a life that I don't need to escape from, but that when I do adventure and I do travel, it only adds more to it.
So while this trip has given me some great sleep and some one on one time with Collin, it's also given me freedom.
Freedom to follow my impulses.
To shed what works for everyone else.
And to tune in to myself.
Only I know what my body truly needs to refuel. And now I understand how to listen and accept that fluid definition of rest.
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