On New Year’s Eve Collin got the kids out of the house and gave me some space for a little self-led retreat.
So I collabed with my friend ChatGPT and created:
a schedule to ground me into my time
journal prompts to answer about 2024 and 2025
and a rough goal of clarity that I was hoping to reach by the end of it.
Things did not go as planned…
With 2024 I mean. Looking back on my 2024 vision board and monthly activities I realized:
I had forgotten where I started…. which also explains where I am now.
At the beginning of last year:
the ball was really rolling with the studio.
Collin and I thought we’d be creating and editing and helping others launch their podcasts together in this space for years to come.
We were unschooling thinking we’d have different support.
And honestly, I imagined I’d finally end the year as this elusive Boss Babe (as cringy as that makes me feel now.)
I believed things and tried things and it made me realize what I wanted more of and less of. So in each moment I kept taking the next aligned action. Actually making choices that felt good to my soul (instead of by the shoulds.)
Which also left me a little whiplashed by years end…
because of the stark contrast between how 2024 started and where I am now. Now I stand at a place of softening. Wanting freedom and space and to relieve pressure in my life (both financially and from what people need from me.)
And as we approached the end of the year, I’d found myself thinking: “How did I get here?”
To this place with a studio payment that no longer fits my creative dreams (or budget.)
Why did I even want this in the first place?
Did I just waste our money again?
Feeling 50% there for everything in my life.
So busy plugging the holes in this ship- a ship I don’t want to captain anymore- that my kids especially aren’t getting the whole of me and neither am I or the creative work I want to put into the world.
Simultaneously exhausted by where I am and ruthlessly eliminating the excess around me that doesn’t align with what my soul is craving.
Which is simply: time to focus on my Substack and time to travel with and focus on my kids.
That’s. It.
So looking at how I thought 2024 would go and how it did go- honestly makes me chuckle.🤣 Why did I ever think I could’ve guessed where I’d end up…
This is a societal framework I’m ready to let go of.
The reverse-engineering. Which innately makes me think “when this happens then that will happen.”
If life is meant for living then why am I spending my time reverse engineering my way to work it so that I can then live?
I’m not saying visioning is bad or anything- I’m a visual person. Visuals make me FEEL things vs. just think it.
But it also shows me…
That all I can do is give myself freedom and space so that I can actually make the next aligned choice in that moment. Not the choice I have to make or should make because of my circumstances.
At the end of the day, for me, it’s less about the big visioning and more about the intentional everyday choices. That’s how I’m creating my life my way.
And that’s why I’m swapping visioning for alignment in 2025✨
Not gonna lie- it’s taking some major reworking so that I can choose what feels aligned instead of what I “need to” or “should” choose.
It started with this realization that we’re working to pay for stuff that we were told we need but our family doesn’t actually. Stuff that’s keeping us away from the life we really want.
Which led to a desire to live debt-free (for us this means no mortgage or car payment and wayyyy less miscellaneous spending.)
Which we’ve since started to put into motion as we look for land and I found a way to build a luxury modern, tiny-ish house all for (hopefully) $120k or less.
This is how I’m creating space so I can live in alignment
And while everyone’s version of alignment is different (from each other and in each day.)
I wanted to share my thought process with you in case you’re feeling stuck too.
Stuck in your choices.
In the shoulds.
In the beliefs we find ourselves holding on to.
I hope that sharing my process shows you a different way. That it invites you to listen to your soul’s cravings and choose the next action that feels aligned TO YOU!
🗓️ P.S. Tomorrow, January 8th at 10am EST, the community is getting together for our Seasonal Co-Work + Connect session. I’m planning on sharing my DIY Self-Led Retreat Guide and opening up the space for us all to chat or work.
Simply upgrade to join us- I’d love to see you there!
P.P.S. If you’re feeling stuck. Noticing your day-to-day doesn’t match your dreams. I recently launched a new 1:1 session just for you.
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