You know, those times when you feel like you're shifting? Like there's a new wave or something's coming up for you?
When that happens for me- what I do best is organize my thoughts and then simplify.
Today I felt this new shift in the way that I've been creating and tracking and where I want to go next.
I’ve felt a change in allowing myself to do these things that I never allowed myself to do before. And that's really where this whole platform started for me.
Tuning In and this Substack was created as a space for me to tune into myself and to (hopefully) provide a reflection and mirror for you too.
Tuning Out the Coaching Industry and Shoulds
Tuning In really came from seeing and not enjoying my experience in the online space.
Maybe you’ve felt this way too? Maybe you're starting to recognize it? Maybe this will give you a new perspective to think about? (And maybe you’ve had a different, more positive experience all together.)
I spent 10 years running a local business, and at one point, the short story is: I broke my ankle and couldn't do my work in the same way. So I felt like I needed, an outside expert to help me “take my business to the next level.”
PAUSE: I didn't tune in with myself then. I didn't sit back and recognize: look at all this stuff that I figured out. Look at where I've taken myself so far. Ultimately, I didn't trust in myself to continue my growth trajectory. I got back on that conveyor belt.
I am not saying that there is not value in coaching, in bettering yourself and all of these things. But I do think that our society as a whole is very focused on the external. And I feel a shift back to the days of intuition and trusting ourselves more.
Breaking Patterns
So what I recognized, now in hindsight, was that was the beginning of a pattern for me where I kept going external.
I hired my first coach, and in those moments when you're given advice, or you're told what to do, you know those where you're like:
This is what I “should” be doing
This is the next “right” thing to do
But you feel something in your gut that says “that didn't sit so well with me?”
And then you tell yourself: BUT they “know better,” right?
They have proof in the pudding.
They have ROI.
So I’ll just follow their blueprint.
Maybe that's part people pleaser or perfectionist? Either way- it became a pattern that I did again, and again, and again, and again.
I'd get to a point and realize, this is really not feeling good. It's not really working. No no, this person has the answers. And I'd go on to the next one.
So right before Tuning In started, I noticed the pattern and I noticed the industry and the environment.
Ultimately, I left the coaching world, recognizing my power and reclaiming it. Realizing that the blueprint is inside me. Nobody has my answers. My answers are within.
Instead of looking for the external world to get me to my next step, now, I recognize my nudges and desires and answers and act on them.
Breaking free from the conveyor belt
What I feel like is missing (and what I hope I am able to bring to you in this space) is a reflection, a mirror. Because nobody else really knows what's best for us. Only we can intuitively feel into what feels “right” and good.
There's a lot of other factors that you can lean on like:
Knowing your personality tests
For me, knowing my goals, my legacy, vision, mission and my why + being really intentional
At the end of the day, I feel like there's a lot of people (maybe not intentionally) manipulating, but let's say a lot of powerful marketing going on that:
pushes you over the edge
that makes you feel these big feelings
this doubt
the shame
this, I don't know well enough to make my own decisions because they’ve had success.
Instead, what I would love to see more of, is that turn of the mirror towards you. Less telling, more posing questions to guide you towards your answers.
Sharing our experiences through the lens of: this is my story, maybe you felt a bit of this too, but at the end of the day, here are questions to ask yourself to figure out your next move.
Tuning in to yourself
My experience has been tuning out to tune in. And from it I feel like I've gotten stronger. I've learned to better listen to myself. And by no means am I perfect at this. Trust me. I like to do my research and look at all the other things happening. But, now, with that filter of:
What works for me?
What feels good to me?
And working that muscle again and again to honestly answer that question and take action based on it.
Slow living has certainly helped too.
Need more context? Here are a few articles about slow living:
In the slowing down, that question of why has been able to come up. I've been able to be more intentional, not rushed, not doing all the shoulds, the external demands, the validation, all of that.
The slowing down in my creation, in my day, in my calendar, in the client load, in everything- taking a beat has given me confidence, clarity and trust. And at the end of the day, it's all about what feels good to me.
Uncovering your blueprint + answers (without the shoulds)
So, as I'm continuing to uncover my internal blueprint, this space will continue to be a place to help you uncover yours. To learn how to listen to those answers inside and take action on them (instead of doubting them.)
Here are the 5 steps I took to uncover my answers and blueprint the first time (and time and time again after that.)
*Again, these are not steps that I say you need to follow. I'm sharing what I noticed for myself and maybe you could take note of that too.
1. Awareness + Pattern Breaking
At the beginning of this story, I shared that I first had that awareness that this is something that’s been happening a lot. I leave not feeling good at the end of every new external voice I listen to. This is a pattern and in that awareness and wanting to make a different choice I was able to break it.
2. Conviction + Clarity
Breaking that pattern took conviction. And that conviction came from clarity.
Clarity in:
where I wanted to go next.
In defining that good feeling for me.
In that vision in where I wanted to be.
And then, for me, it took simplifying to get me there.
3. Simplifying
I'm at Point A and I know I want to get to Point B- but:
there's a lot of clutter in the way.
A lot of things that were working before just aren’t working for me anymore.
Clearing those things out (along with slowing down and listening to myself) then gave me the space to take action.
4. Tuning In
I think often we've been conditioned to not believe in that inner voice. That we’re crazy and we need to go with the experience, the proof, the logical next step. Tuning in to myself has not only felt better in my life, but it’s resulted in more aligned results with ease too.
So I’m holding up that mirror to share: you're not crazy! That little inkling that you felt, that meant something. And it's okay to listen to that. It's okay to tune in and use your intuition and be intentional. And not do the shoulds.
That step has been really important for me.
5. Recalibration + Flow
And in my organization, in my journaling, in my brain dump and all of the things (like what brought us here today,) I then find comes a recalibration time…. in flow.
I've struggled before with thinking: “Okay, I got clear. I figured it out, great. This is it forever.”
And I think the other piece that slow living and tuning in, and all of these things has showed me, is it's all about riding those waves. Being in flow.
That recalibration, that seasonality, that recognizing (like I had today) that a shift, a new wave, a change is coming- allows us to go back to the beginning. To:
the awareness + then pattern breaking
clearing out things that aren't serving us anymore, simplifying
then checking in with ourselves and taking action based on that.
This cycle of: Clarity, Alignment, Recalibration- is really the cycle that I've done time and time again. It’s brought me to uncovering my answers and my blueprint each time and maybe it can help you too.
Questions to ask yourself
When have you been making decisions that felt so aligned and felt like they were the right thing for you?
And what were you doing when you’ve felt, “I'm not living my blueprint. I'm following somebody else's. I feel doubt and shame and just crummy.”
Maybe there's time for you to tune out, to tune in. Maybe you can start to uncover your blueprint too.
Let’s Grow Girl 🌿
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